Elton's Weekly Wrestling High Spots and Botches: September 27-October 3

High Spots: “BIG MEATY MEN SLAPPIN’ MEAT!” WWE Champion Big E is quite fond of those types of matches and that was the situation he found himself in at the opening and closing moments of this edition of Monday Night Raw. Big E defended his title proudly against the former champion Bobby Lashley in an impactful contest that ended in a disqualification that shockingly didn’t piss me off. That’s because it was brought on by the return of The Hurt Business via Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander’s involvement in the match. The big brawl between that newly revived stable and The New Day sent my excitement levels through the roof, bruh! Big E and Lashley got into it again at the end of the evening in a Steel Cage rematch that exceeded the previous bout between the two behemoths. Big E’s momentous victory celebration was short-lived however as Drew McIntyre made his WWE Championship ambitions known. So it looks like Big E vs. McIntyre is practically a lock for Crown Jewel!

HEY, BIG E IS BACK! Wait, excuse me...Keith “Bearcat” Lee! His unlucky prey was none other than Akira Tozawa, who got demolished in just a few seconds by the re-debuting big guy. Side note - if I was given the book, I’d have Lee win next year’s Royal Rumble to set him up with a dream match against Big E for the WWE Championship at ‘Mania 38. That sounds like money, doesn't it? Sheamus came out once again to show us that he’s one of WWE’s most underrated in-ring talents during his barbaric US Championship match against champion Damian Priest. They beat the holy hell out of each other thanks to the addition of relaxed rules and made the most of them. Priest is looking more and more like a future WWE/Universal Champion every time I see him. Hey, guess what? AJ STYLES AND RIDDLE HAD ANOTHER AMAZING MATCHUP! Shocking, am I right? Those long-haired legends can do no wrong at this point whenever they’re in the ring together. Can we get an Iron Man match at Crown Jewel between the two, perhaps? Just asking...

Botches: I was pleasantly surprised to see Angel Garza pop on Raw once again to square off with The Viking Raiders’ Erik. That pleasant feeling immediately plummeted to pure discontent when it led to nothing more than an inconsequential matchup that only lasted close to two minutes. Two talented guys of that caliber deserve way more time to impress than that. My guy Ricochet was forced to wallow in the murky depths of the 24/7 Division during his match with Reggie. It didn’t last long enough for me to care and the post-match shenanigans were complete & utter garbage. Moving on! Goldberg’s promo just made me fear the worst for another matchup between him and Lashley. It’s clear that they're headed for a second meeting at Crown Jewel. And when you consider Goldberg’s series of matches in Saudi Arabia, you simply have to brace yourself for another in-ring disaster. 

The evening’s six-man tag featured three faves of mine versus the very worst of the Raw roster. And guess who won? The dirt worst side of the coin, of course. Their match was short and meaningless anyway. In a bout between two guys I give 0 shit’s about, Karrion Kross broke Jaxson Ryker’s recent undefeated streak. Both guys are uninteresting and severely bland duds that suck and will continue to suck until the end of time. I was ready to watch something great unfold between Piper Niven and Charlotte Flair. But it never really got a chance to match my high expectations for it due to a horrendous ending that saw Piper get distracted by Eva Marie and planted with a Natural Selection by Flair. So...Piper vs. Eva must continue. Yay. But hey! At least Shayna Baszler got to come out and regain some of that NXT heat she used to have by destroying Eva. There’s a silver lining to everything, I guess. Oh and “Super Brutality?” They’re the purest form of horse manure...

High Spots: I had a bad feeling about this episode as soon as it began since (S)Hit Row came out first. Their facepalm-worthy promo immediately soured my mood. But I ended up getting a lot happier once Elektra Lopez got to work on B-Fab during their No Disqualification opener. Even though both ladies looked a bit awkward whenever weapons weren’t in play, they still managed to produce a halfway decent brawl. Plus B-Fab lost, which is always a good thing! Xyon Quinn thankfully didn’t show us his appreciation for chivalry this time around - he instead showed us how much of a hot in-ring prospect he is by easily trouncing Oney Lorcan. Quinn has the marketable look and tools needed to become another one of NXT 2.0’s must-see competitors.

MSK sent out a proclamation to the rest of NXT 2.0’s tag team lineup - I’m all the way in for a Fatal Four Way Match between the champs, the Grizzled Young Veterans, Carmelo Hayes & Trick, and the good old boys' duo of Josh Briggs & Brooks Jensen. MSK’s mic skills are worrisome as always, but at least GYV kept me intrigued as they struggled to understand all the confusing slang coming their way. Toxic Attraction got their first true test as they tangled with the NXT Women’s Tag Team Champions. While that match was a bit sloppy at points, it was a good time for the most part. Io Shirai and Zoey Stark continue to be a strong unit despite the tired “we don’t get along too well, but we wrestle real good together” cliche they’ve been saddled with. Tomasso Ciampa and Bron Breakker are headed towards a big-time NXT Championship encounter much sooner than I thought, it seems - their dueling promos got me pretty hyped for a potential matchup between the two in the coming weeks. LA Knight’s backstage challenge to Odyssey Jones also has me intrigued for a future meeting between the two.

The match of the night came when NXT Cruiserweight Champion Roderick Strong defended his recently acquired prize against Grayson Waller. Never mind the short runtime - both men worked their asses off to produce a satisfactory affair. Waller came out of it looking a lot stronger and Roddy got to build up his credibility as a newfound champion. Simple, concise, and beneficial for both men involved. When wrestling is all so simple, it works like a charm. And shoutout to Kyle O'Reilly and Ridge Holland - they worked hard enough to keep me entertained during their five-minute clash. The rollup pin sucked, yes. But hey, Kyle got himself an important win during his first official match within the colorful confines of NXT 2.0.

Botches: I’m usually over the moon whenever Indie Hartwell and Dexter Lumis are onscreen. But their honeymoon hijinks just didn’t hit the high mark of comedy their past segments have done. Even when Johnny Gargano got trapped in their hotel closet and cringed the whole time cause he thought they were “consummating the marriage,” I just couldn’t bring myself to laugh. That was a rare miss from NXT’s lovable lovebirds and their paranoid onlookers. Joe Gacy’s horrible gimmick popped up once again here - he alluded to all the major news coverage he accrued and spoke about not “being canceled,” which made me cringe as hard as “Johnny Wrestling” did earlier in the show. I just can’t get behind a wrestler that uses each and every tired buzzword you see from Twitter’s army of fake intellectuals. Boa has never mattered much to me, so you can probably guess how I felt about his boring squash win over Andre Chase.

Nothing about Tony D’Angelo, Cora Jade, and Lash Legend interests me, so I mentally checked out as soon as they started talking. As for the main event match for the NXT Women’s Championship, it just didn’t hit like I figured it would. Raquel Gonzalez and Franky Monet clearly don’t work all that well together, which was a sad reality that was front and center during their disappointing encounter. Franky Monet has really been a bust in WWE thus far if ya ask me. After Raquel got the win, Toxic Attraction got the jump on her and left the champ laying. And as Mandy Rose held up the belt, I couldn’t help but yawn and brace for the absolute worst...

High Spots: BRODIE! BRODIE! BRODIE! AEW Dynamite always does right by the memory of the greatest TNT Champion of all time and the man that leads The Dark Order from the high heavens, Mr. Brodie Lee. This episode was a lively affair that featured a hot opening and an equally exciting show closer. Adam Cole & Jungle Boy went out there and had the match of the night. Both men set a great pace that crescendoed into some hype moments that had the Rochester crowd in the palm of their hands. Once again, Jungle Boy proved that he has the tools needed to keep AEW thriving as long as he wrestles under their umbrella. Cole ended up getting the win and continued to showcase himself as a worthy addition to the AEW roster. Afterward, The Elite came out to gloat about their greatness. Of course, this led to Bryan Danielson coming out to request a rematch with the AEW World Champion Kenny Omega. The one thing I took from that segment is we’re probably getting a “Kenny No Balls” t-shirt real soon. I’ma need one of those ASAP!

Cody Rhodes continued to be showered with boos during his tag team match alongside Lee Johnson against Matt Sydal & Dante Martin. The slow burn to that eventual turn to the dark side started to come to fruition here as Cody ignored Arn Anderson’s coaching as soon as the match began. Even though Cody’s babyface act has expired in the fans’ eyes, he still holds his own in the ring. I gotta hand it to Lee, Matt, and Dante as well - they left everyone’s jaws on the floor thanks to their high-flying repertoire. Lee tagging himself in to nab the win was a nice touch and a cool way to give the young up & comer more credibility. After Cody and Lee got the win, “Double A” delivered the promo of the night. I don’t think anyone is gonna try to carjack Arn anytime soon cause he clearly has that thang on him at all times! It sounds like Arn is sick of Cody’s shit and would much rather run with Lee since he listens to him, at least. Man, where does Cody go from here?

With Sting by their side, Jon Moxley, Eddie Kingston, and Darby Allin came out to have some fun as they demolished Bear Country and Anthony Greene without even breaking a sweat. Sting got to join in on the party with the boys by dropping Greene with a Scorpion Death Drop after the match. It was a short segment, yet I enjoyed every minute of it. Fine by me! Orange Cassidy and The Dark Order vs. the Hardy Family Office ended up being the first big Brodie tribute of the night. When it looked like Brodie’s stable was going to blow it and let down the Rochester crowd, -1 came out to inspire them the only way he knows how - by throwing a rolled-up paper at Evil Uno to get his mind back in the match. And thanks to the assistance of Brodie’s widow, The Dark Order finally mended their broken relationship and overcame their foes. That was a heartwarming moment and a nice way to get The Dark Order back on track. Jon Silver’s comeback sequence is one of the best in the business!

LIO RUSH IS ALL ELITE! Could’ve sworn that dude was retired, but dah well! So Lio is supposed to be some financial bigwig now, I take it. His promo gave me heavy “On this episode of American Greed…” vibes, though. But I like watching the speedy guy bounce all over the ring, so I’m willing to give his new gimmick a shot. The Lucha Brothers aren’t just the AEW World Tag Team Champions, but they’re also the AAA World Tag Team Champions. Andrade El Idolo targeted them for a shot at those titles, which leads me to believe that someone from AAA may walk through the “Forbidden Door” and step up to be Andrade’s partner real soon. The other promos on this show set up some future matches and feuds worth getting excited about - MJF & Darby Allin are on the road to something major later down the road, FTR reminded us of their tag team superiority, Hikaru Shida vs. Serena Deeb is on the docket for the next episode of Dynamite, and Dan Lambert & The Men of the Year gloated about their win over Chris Jericho & Jake Hager. Shout out to MJF’s line about the “whole school-shooter, mime on a skateboard thing.” Now that was a bar! As for Darby, his mic skills could be a lot better.

I actually enjoyed a match featuring Anna Jay, Penelope Ford, and The Bunny for once! Shocking, I know. I probably liked it way more than I thought I would cause Tay Conti was in there delivering those sick Yakuza Kicks I love so much. Solid women’s tag match there. Now let’s talk about the main event! So the Rochester crowd was pretty quiet throughout it - Miro did his best to liven up the fans and get them into it but to no avail. Then the crowd started to come alive a bit once Sammy Guevara got the better of his much larger foe on offense. Both men worked hard to get the crowd into their clash and they eventually succeeded due to their hard work & sheer determination. Miro screwed himself during the very last minute of the show when he switched his focus to ripping off the corner pads. This led to Fuego Del Sol running in to stop Miro’s rampage, which earned him a stiff punch to the face. Then Sammy capitalized on Miro’s mistake by kicking him right into the exposed turnbuckle pad, planting him with a Tornado DDT, clocking him with GTH, and finishing him off with a 630 Senton. Now we have a NEWWWWWW TNT Champion! And his name is Sammy Guevara. And with that, we got the perfect ending to a good show.

Botches: None to speak of, honestly...

High Spots: Man, hold up...Impact Wrestling got a Digital Media Championship now? Like is it supposed to be the modern-day version of WCW’s TV Championship or somethin’? If so, I kinda dig it! The belt they revealed for this new division looks gorgeous, so now I’m actually interested in seeing who actually wins the damn thing. My money’s on Matt Cardona cause it’s only right that the former Internet Champion gets his hands on that new beauty. The majority of this episode of Impact was on point, I must say. The X-Division three-way at the beginning of the show was pure heat! Laredo Kid has been on fire lately and it was nice to see Alex Zayne make his Impact Wrestling debut. Trey Miguel walked away with the win and has already gone to the top of my predictions list as the next X-Division Champion. The Knockouts Tag Team Championship #1 Contendership match wasn’t half bad. I usually hate everything The Influence is a part of, but they had awesome dancing partners in the form of Jordynne Grace and Rachael Ellering. The Influence got the win and now they have a date with destiny against the Decay at Knockouts Knockdown. 

Man, Deonna Purazzo and Mickie James really got murder beef out in these streets! The Impact Women’s World Champion ran down on “Hardcore Country” at her own barn and kicked off a crazy-ass brawl that almost resulted in Mickie getting drowned. They've lowkey been having the best feud of the year. I can’t wait to see what those two can do at Bound For Glory. “The Fallen Angel” made his in-ring return to Impact and looked as good as ever during his match with Madman Fulton. Watching Daniels gracefully leap into the air to land his BME (BEST. MOONSAULT. EVER!) had me feeling all nostalgic about his excellent X-Division run from back in the day. So Violence By Design gave Rhino an ultimatum - run with us or get done up by us. Before the “Man-Beast could even make his decision, Heath came back from his long hiatus and beat the breaks off of Rhino’s former stablemates. Rhino still didn’t give an answer to VBD, plus he didn’t show Heath any love during his comeback. The plot thickens, it seems…

In the main event, Eddie Edwards had to go it alone against W. Morrissey since his boy Sami Callihan came down with an injury. Moose was barred from ringside during both men’s Street Fight, so at least the playing field was pretty fair. Their main event was definitely hittin’, which is usually the case whenever Eddie gets in his hardcore bag. After Eddie and his wife put Morrissey down with a barbed wire chair-assisted Boston Knee Party for the win, Moose hit the ring to exact his revenge. Moose left Eddie laying after a nasty beatdown that included a chair and a steel ring post. Watching Morrissey hold onto Alisha Edwards and forcing her to watch her husband get beat into oblivion was pure savagery, which added another wrinkle to their ongoing storyline. Eddie might need some “Forbidden Door” assistance if he hopes to get any revenge on his two larger foes at Bound for Glory...

Botches: I’m not really feeling all of these “The Learning Tree” segments with Curt Hawkins and his underlings. You’d think they’d have some moments of hilarity in them from time to time, but they just fall flat and make me wish we had something similar to those classic “Paparazzi Productions” promos from TNA’s heyday. And I just can’t bring myself to care about anything Johnny Swinger is involved in these days. The dude just makes my eyes roll in the back of my head every time he tries to land one of his corny zingers. And to think, I actually liked that dude when he was in ECW...

High Spots: I’ve been watching these WWE Draft shows since 2002 and I’ve become comfortable with the fact that those shows are usually pretty light in the good match department. Sadly, that disappointing trend continued here with an episode of SmackDown that was clearly more focused on giving us major draft picks to get excited about. The Blue Brand ended up keeping Roman Reigns, which means it’ll continue to be the A-Show. The new additions of Drew McIntyre, Jeff Hardy, and The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) left me in a good mood. But then my mood soured once I learned stale ass Charlotte Flair and the insufferable (S)Hit Row was also making the move. Oy vey! Raw got some good picks of their own in the form of Edge, Bianca Belair, Rey Mysterio, and Austin Theory. Can’t wait till Monday to see who else gets their show status changed.

So besides all of the WWE Draft stuff, we got a compelling segment between Reigns and his Crown Jewel opponent Brock Lesnar. Watching Brock massacre The Usos warmed my cold heart and got me even more excited about the prospect of Brock finally getting his hands on the Universal Champion in Saudi Arabia. Let’s hope this next matchup in their long-lasting feud is as close to their WrestleMania 31 meeting as possible. Seth Rollins is a wild boy! He clearly took a page out of Triple H’s book by taking a trip to the home of his most hated rival. Seth took us on a creepy journey through Edge’s home and poked the bear even more than usual. Nice segment there that’s obviously setting up a third and, most likely, final encounter between the two. We got an eight man-tag that featured three local SmackDown teams and the return of The New Day. It was a decent little skirmish that presented me with the very cool image of the Street Profits and The New Day side by side.

Jeff Hardy tried to get a word in about his new Friday night status, but Brock and his terrifying ponytail cut in on his TV time. So thanks to Paul Heyman, Brock has been given free agent status and can practically go wherever he wants. That reveal set Reigns off and caused him to lambast his confidant and put his life in danger if The Usos get drafted to Raw. “YOU’RE ONLY THE WISE MAN WHEN I SAY YOU’RE THE WISE MAN!” Tell ‘em, Roman! The main event for the evening was the match we were supposed to get at SummerSlam this year between Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks. While this second meeting between the two fell far below their WrestleMania 37 classic, it still managed to be a decent affair. Banks got the win, but that moment was quickly overshadowed by Charlotte boring me to tears with her unwanted run-in and a ho-hum championship pose-off with Becky Lynch. The more things change, the more they stay the same...

Botches: Kevin Owens must be counting down the days until his WWE contract expires. His current beef with Happy Corbin & Madcap Moss is nothing but unentertaining filler that’s only resulting in mediocre matches. Owens and Corbin had a nothing matchup here, so let’s just move on. So Liv Morgan vs. Carmella didn’t actually start for some odd reason. The only takeaway from that waste of time was Carmella’s new face protector looking like a clearance sale Party City Lucha mask.

High Spots: “I HAVE TILL FIVE!” I adored Bryan Danielson’s ROH shtick, so it’s awesome to see it come to cable TV on a much larger stage. He started off this airing of Rampage on a high note with a very good match against Nick Jackson. Nick’s my favorite singles guy out of The Young Bucks duo, so I was quite pleased to see him hold his own against the “American Dragon.” Both men set a great pace that featured the best aspects of technical and high-flying wrestling. I’m overjoyed at the fact that Bryan got the win via his good old MMA elbows and the excruciating Cattle Mutilation submission. The promos afterward led me to believe that CM Punk and Malakai Black may be on a collision course with each other real soon. They both made it clear that they’re ready for some fresh competition, which is why I think they may cross paths in the next week or so.

Three of AEW’s finest ladies came to blows during a rare Triple Threat Match for the company. Jade Cargill, Nyla Rose, and Thunder Rosa tore into each other and delivered a fun brawl that included some hardcore action worth mentioning here. Rosa dropkicked a trash can right into Jade’s gut, Nyla got planted with a sick powerbomb through a table, and Jade eventually got the W by whacking Rosa with a steel chair multiple times. Jade keeps racking up those big wins, so she has to be next in line for an AEW Women’s World Championship opportunity. Jade’s still a bit green in the ring though, so I think AEW might want to wait a wee bit longer before they throw her in there with Britt Baker.

Botches: Putting the Hair vs. Hair match between Orange Cassidy and Jack Evans in the main event slot on this episode of Rampage was...odd, to say the least. I think their match would have been better served as something that was featured on Dark: Elevation. It was okay at best, to be honest. Seeing Jack Evan actually get some TV time on one of AEW’s two prime-time shows was a special treat, though.

High Spots: The latest Dark Side of the Ring episode took a deep dive into the rise and fall of FMW (Frontier Martial-Arts Wrestling). Side note - I feel like such an idiot for passing up on that Best of Hayabusa in FMW DVD set Suncoast used to sell back in the day. Anyways, this episode turned me into an even bigger fan of Atsushi Onita - rewatching his emotional post-match promos for the first time and witnessing some of the matches I missed out on during his heyday definitely had me YouTubing more of his stuff. Guys like Mick Foley, Terry Funk, Gladiator (Mike Awesome), Sabu, etc. made some incredible in-ring sacrifices during their time spent in FMW. It was pretty sad to learn about the passing of Shoichi Arai and have to rewatch everything that led to Hayabusa’s paralysis, though (witnessing him walk again was amazing!). All in all, this episode of Dark Side of the Ring relayed a fascinating and less depressing story about one of the best hardcore wrestling feds of all time.

Botches: None to speak of, honestly...